I’ve been reflecting on life this week. A reflection brought on by the recent death of my husband’s close friend, Louie, in a tragic accident. Losses like this one motivate me to take a hard look at my life and do some reevaluating.
At times my life gets so hectic that I forget the valuable lessons I’ve learned from the mistakes I’ve made. Sometimes I need to revisit those lessons. Life is complex, and if we don’t take the time to truly live it, we’re missing out.
Life lessons, or the wisdom and insight that come from years of trial and error and success and failure, can help us improve our lives in many ways, including becoming more aware of what’s truly meaningful. For those of you who may be struggling, here are the important lessons I’ve learned in my life.
1. Seize every day. Life speeds by us like a freight train, so we need to make every moment count. When I was much younger, and looking to reach certain milestones, I felt like time moved much slower. Now I feel like the days and weeks are speeding by faster than ever before. You notice this even more when you lose loved ones and realize you’ll never get that time back.
2. Be present. This goes hand in hand with lesson one. My work is very stressful and I’m busy all the time. There have been times when I’ve been on the phone with one of my kids, but my mind is on a million other things. I remember my daughter asking me once if I was even listening to her and it was a wakeup call, because I wasn’t. Be there fully, especially for those you love, including elderly parents. Don’t go through life on autopilot; you’ll regret it.
3. The best things in life take work. Lasting relationships, good parenting, trusted friendships, successful careers, achievements, they all require a lot of work. I’ve learned that nothing worth having ever comes easy, and I’ve never regretted putting the time and effort into the things that matter most to me. Set goals. We all need something to strive for.
4. A person’s education is never over. Even at my age, I learn something new every day. In my marketing business, learning is key to keeping up with changing trends, changing technology and new marketing channels. This means continuous reading, researching and self-teaching. I’ve learned that expanding my mind is a key to success in work and life in general.
5. Be generous; you will reap the rewards. Proverbs 11:25 says a generous person will prosper, whoever refreshes others will be refreshed. I find happiness in being generous. Although financial generosity is important, I have also learned to be generous with my time, my love, and through simple acts of kindness.
6. Obstacles faced in life can make you a better person. This was another hard lesson to learn. One of the greatest challenges of my life was finding myself a divorced young mother raising a 3-year-old and a 5-year-old on my own with very little money. It was probably my greatest period of self-doubt. I somehow found the strength to pull myself out of that situation and overcome many of the obstacles that came my way. Facing those challenges head-on had a big impact on the person I am today. I surprised myself with how determined I was when things got tough. That perseverance can establish our path in life.
7. Believe in yourself. When I was younger, this was the hardest thing to do. This is especially true when someone makes you feel like you’re not good enough or smart enough. A strong belief in yourself can help you overcome just about anything.
8. You always have a choice – choose happiness. We are all responsible for our own happiness. It’s easy to blame someone else when we’re not happy, but I’ve learned that striving for a more positive attitude has a significant effect on my happiness. This was one of the most valuable lessons I’ve ever learned, and it took me many years to learn it. Now, I try to start each day with a mantra, which is basically a few positive statements that reinforce my confidence in myself, reduce my level of stress and give me a more positive outlook for the day ahead. It’s as simple as taking the time to repeat a few self-affirming phrases to yourself.
9. Forgiveness is a key to happiness. Forgive yourself for your past mistakes; forgive others who may have wronged you. You have a right to feel sad or angry; just don’t let it consume you. You need to forgive to be happy. Everyone deserves a second chance, including you. Time does heal all wounds.
10. Build strong friendships. Good friends take time, effort and appreciation, but I’ve learned they are worth it. After my family, my friends are the most cherished things in my life.
11. Accept that life doesn’t always turn out the way we planned. God knows my life has taken many detours, but the journey is an important part of life, and it’s never too late to start down a different path.
12. Don’t settle for less than you deserve. Fear of missing out can cause us to settle for something that might not be right for us. Don’t settle for a bad relationship, friends that are all take and no give, or a job that makes you miserable. I know it’s easier said than done, but you’ll be happier if you work on getting what you really deserve. Stop wishing for something better and go get it.
Ruth Corcoran is a professional marketer, former restaurant owner, and community advocate. She resides in Bear Creek. Readers can reach Ruth by emailing ruth@corcoranpr.com.